In the Garbage Read online

  Hiya! My name Thudd. Best robot friend of Drewd. Thudd know lots of stuff. Why garbage get stinky. How bug walk on ceiling. Where bird get feathers. How things fly.

  Drewd like to invent stuff. Thudd help! But Drewd make lots of mistakes. Today Drewd try out garbage-shrinking machine. Thudd worried. Want to see what happen? Turn page, please!

  Get lost with

  Andrew, Judy, and Thudd

  in all their exciting adventures!

  Andrew Lost on the Dog

  Andrew Lost in the Bathroom

  Andrew Lost in the Kitchen

  Andrew Lost in the Garden

  Andrew Lost Under Water

  Andrew Lost in the Whale

  Andrew Lost on the Reef

  Andrew Lost in the Deep

  Andrew Lost in Time

  Andrew Lost on Earth

  Andrew Lost with the Dinosaurs

  Andrew Lost in the Ice Age

  Andrew Lost in the Garbage

  AND COMING SOON!

  Andrew Lost with the Bats

  To Dan, Zack, and the real Andrew,

  with a galaxy of love. To the children who read these books: I wish

  you wonderful questions. Questions are

  telescopes into the universe!

  —J.C.G.

  To Cathy Goldsmith, with many thanks.

  —J.G.

  CONTENTS

  Andrew’s World

  1. Ssssssssssss …

  2. Germy Booger

  3. No Excuses

  4. What’s Stinkier Than a Whale’s Intestines?

  5. Found … and Lost

  6. A Very Un-“Happy Meal”

  7. Eat Dirt!

  8. Two Ways to Get Down in the Dumps

  9. Beetle-Mania!

  10. The Cannibals Are Coming!

  11. Time to Cry Wolf!

  12. A Big Bat-tle

  True Stuff

  Where to Find More True Stuff

  ANDREW’S WORLD

  Andrew Dubble

  Andrew is ten years old, but he’s been inventing things since he was four. Andrew’s inventions usually get him in trouble, like the time he invented the Aroma-Rama. It was supposed to make homes and offices smell like flowers. Instead, it made everything smell like stinky feet!

  Andrew’s newest invention is supposed to save the world from getting buried in garbage. But a nasty classmate could get Andrew buried in garbage!

  Judy Dubble

  Judy is Andrew’s thirteen-year-old cousin. She’s been snuffled into a dog’s nose, pooped out of a whale, and had her pajamas chewed by a Tyrannosaurus—all because of Andrew!

  Thudd

  The Handy Ultra-Digital Detective. Thudd is a super-smart robot and Andrew’s best friend. He has helped save Andrew and Judy from the exploding sun, a giant squid, and a monster asteroid. But can he keep them from getting thrown out with the garbage?

  Uncle Al

  Andrew and Judy’s uncle is a top-secret scientist. He invented Thudd. Uncle Al and Andrew have worked on many inventions together. Too bad Uncle Al wasn’t around to help Andrew with this one. Where is Uncle Al, anyway?

  Jeremy Bogart

  Jeremy goes to school with Andrew and Judy. It won’t take you long to figure out why kids call him “Germy Booger”!

  The Goa Constrictor

  This giant fake snake is Andrew’s newest invention. Goa is short for Garbage Goes Away. The Goa is supposed to keep the world from getting buried in garbage by squashing rotten vegetables, green meat, and dirty paper dishes down to microscopic size. Unfortunately for Andrew, the Goa doesn’t just shrink garbage. In two minutes and one stinky burp, the Goa can shrink anything—and anyone.

  SSSSSSSSSSSS …

  “Yerrrrghhh!” groaned ten-year-old Andrew Dubble. He was dragging a heavy black bag through his classroom door. The bag was squirming!

  No one else was in the room.

  “Wowzers!” said Andrew. “We’ve finally got the place to ourselves.”

  Ch … ch … ch … ch … ch …

  Angry screams were coming from a cage behind Andrew. It was Harry and Howard, the class guinea pigs.

  Andrew felt a poke inside his shirt pocket.

  meep … “Animals afraid, Drewd,” came a squeaky voice.

  It was Andrew’s little silver robot and best friend, Thudd. Thudd was short for The Handy Ultra-Digital Detective.

  Andrew looked around the room. A forest of trees reached for the ceiling. Plants with giant leaves pressed against the windows. Plastic hamster trails zigzagged through it all.

  A shelf at the back held roomy cages for mice and guinea pigs. A hairy tarantula spider the size of Andrew’s hand lived in a sandy aquarium tank.

  “Don’t worry, Thudd,” said Andrew. “I’ll make sure the Goa Constrictor eats just the garbage.”

  Andrew checked the clock on the wall. “The cafeteria ladies said they would bring the garbage at three o’clock,” he said. “We’ve got fifteen minutes to get ready.”

  Andrew untied the squirming black bag and pulled a small remote control from his pants pocket. He pressed the Slither Out button.

  Ssssssssssss … came a loud hiss from the bag. A giant brown snake head poked out. It had blinking red lights for eyes. A thin black tongue flicked from its mouth.

  The huge snake slipped out of the bag. Its body was brown and yellow. It was as thick as a wastebasket and as long as a ladder.

  Andrew beamed. “Wowzers schnauzers! Isn’t the Goa beautiful?”

  “Yoop! Yoop! Yoop!” said Thudd. “But gotta be careful, Drewd. Remember Atom Sucker.”

  Not long ago, Andrew had invented the Atom Sucker. It shrunk things by sucking the empty space out of atoms. Andrew accidentally shrunk himself so small that he got snuffled into the nose of a dog, flushed down a toilet, and almost eaten by a nasty neighbor.

  Andrew laughed. “I’ll never forget that,” he said.

  “Andrew!” came a voice from the hall. It was Judy, Andrew’s thirteen-year-old cousin.

  “And Judy will never let me forget it, either,” said Andrew.

  The Atom Sucker had shrunk Judy, too.

  “Cheese Louise!” Judy yelled as she backed away from the doorway. “What is that?”

  “It’s my entry for the Young Inventors Contest,” said Andrew. “It’s called the Goa Constrictor. Goa stands for Garbage Goes Away.”

  “Then you should call it the Gga Constrictor,” said Judy. “That’s the right way to make a name from initials, Bug-Brain.”

  “It’s my invention,” said Andrew, “so I get to invent its name, too. Wait till you see the Goa in action. It swallows a giant pile of garbage, then it squeezes the empty space out of the atoms and makes the garbage super-small. I’ll show you.”

  Suddenly the Goa Constrictor raised its head. Its tongue flicked faster.

  meep … “Goa Constrictor smell stuff with tongue,” said Thudd. “Goa Constrictor got little pits on side of face that feel heat. When garbage get rotty, garbage get warm. Goa find it.”

  Ssssssssssss …

  The Goa Constrictor, red eyes blinking faster, slithered toward Judy.

  “Aack!” yelled Judy, backing away. “Does it think I’m garbage or something?”

  Andrew shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said as the Goa Constrictor zigzagged toward the door. “But it sure does smell something funny.”

  GERMY BOOGER

  “Whoop-de-do!” hooted a tall boy in the doorway. “It’s Dandy Andy’s garbage gobbler!”

  The Goa Constrictor quickly twisted itself around the boy’s legs.

  “Hey, Germy,” Andrew said to the boy. He clicked the Off button on the remote. The Goa Constrictor lay still.

  The tall boy shook his black hair away from his
eyes. “You’re beginning to talk like that tin can in your pocket, Andy.”

  Judy crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. “Stuff a sock in it, Jeremy Bogart,” she said. “If you didn’t annoy everyone all the time, kids wouldn’t call you Germy Booger.”

  “That’s so unkind,” said Jeremy. “I’m a really nice kid. I’ve even done something nice for little Andy.”

  Jeremy stepped into the hall and came back dragging two bulging garbage bags. The sweet-sour smell of garbage filled the room.

  “See how nice I am?” said Jeremy. “I helped the cafeteria ladies by delivering these bags.”

  “Be prepared to be amazed, Germy,” said Andrew, pressing a button on the remote.

  The Goa Constrictor raised its head and opened its jaws wide enough to swallow a toaster. The jaws opened wider and wider— wide enough to swallow an oven!

  meep … “Snakes got special jaws,” said Thudd. “Bottom jaw come apart from top jaw. Can open mouth wide, wide, wide!”

  Andrew dragged one of the garbage bags close to the Goa Constrictor’s mouth. “The Goa will make this garbage super-small.”

  “Oooooh!” said Jeremy. “A really creepy garbage gobbler. Everybody will want one.”

  “Listen, Germy,” said Andrew, looking Jeremy in the eye. “Every person—including you—makes five pounds of garbage every day. That’s thirty-five pounds every week. That’s more than eighteen hundred pounds every year for every person!

  “We need to make less garbage before we get buried in it. But until we figure out how to do that, the Goa can make garbage smaller!”

  Andrew lifted the garbage bag. He poured a mess of half-eaten hot dogs, brown banana chunks, rotten grapes, chewed French fries, and ketchup-covered paper napkins into the Goa’s mouth.

  The Goa’s bottom jaw moved in and out, dragging the garbage in fast.

  When it sucked down the last potato peel, the Goa slowly closed its jaws.

  Ssssssssssss …

  A giant beach-ball-sized bulge appeared behind the Goa’s head and moved slowly through its body.

  SSSSSSSSSSSS …

  The hiss sounded like a bucket of water hitting a bonfire. Suddenly the Goa’s mouth snapped open. Out swirled a rainbow-colored tornado that smelled like a thousand rotten eggs.

  NO EXCUSES

  “Ack! Ack!” coughed Judy.

  “Yerf!” hollered Jeremy, pinching his nose with his fingers.

  Andrew held his breath.

  The tornado swirled toward the ceiling and vanished. The smell disappeared. And the bulge in the middle of the Goa Constrictor was gone.

  Now the Goa’s tail was twitching so fast that it seemed to disappear. As soon as the tail was still, Andrew lifted it.

  “Super-duper pooper-scooper!” he shouted. “Look!”

  Beneath the tail was a tiny pile of colored specks.

  Andrew put down the remote and reached into his pants pocket. He pulled out a small black tube and put it up to his eye.

  “Woofers!” he said. “The Goa really did shrink the garbage! Apple cores and paper cups are smaller than grains of sand! Some stuff is so small I can’t even see it with my Tele-Mag.”

  “Give me that thing,” said Jeremy, kneeling down on the floor. He grabbed the Tele-Mag out of Andrew’s hand, put it up to his eye, and looked at the tiny pile. “It’s just a big blur!” he said.

  “That’s because you’re holding the Tele-Mag the wrong way,” said Andrew. “One end is a telescope and the other end is a microscope.”

  Jeremy turned the tube around and examined the specks. “Okay. It’s teensy-weensy garbage,” he said. “Who cares?”

  Andrew grabbed back the Tele-Mag and picked up the remote. “So where’s your invention, Germy?” he asked.

  “Right here,” said Jeremy, getting to his feet.

  He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out what looked like a black Ping-Pong ball.

  “Humph,” said Judy, frowning. “Just what the world is waiting for—a smooth golf ball. One that’s really hard to find.”

  Jeremy shook his head. “You wouldn’t recognize a genius idea if it landed on your brain,” he said. “This is the Excuse-O-Matic. The world is waiting for this.”

  Jeremy clicked a silver button at the top of the black ball. “I didn’t do my homework,” he said slowly.

  hmmmmmmmmmm …

  The ball hummed softly. It began to spin in Jeremy’s palm.

  hmmmmm … “My little brother ate my homework,” whined a small voice from the whirling ball.

  hmmmmm … “I got food poisoning and threw up all night.”

  hmmmmm … “A robber broke into our house and took everything, even my homework.”

  Jeremy clicked the silver button again and the Excuse-O-Matic was quiet.

  “See?” said Jeremy. “It works for every situation—being late, losing stuff—anything! Everybody needs good excuses.”

  “Lies, you mean,” said Judy.

  Jeremy smiled. “Just other ways of looking at things,” he said. “Even Dandy Andy will love this. Catch!”

  He tossed the Excuse-O-Matic to Andrew.

  The Excuse-O-Matic knocked the remote control out of Andrew’s hand. It fell to the floor.

  The red eyes of the Goa Constrictor blinked fast. It opened its jaws, scooped up the Excuse-O-Matic and the remote, and snapped its jaws shut.

  “Get my Excuse-O-Matic back!” yelled Jeremy. “Or else I’ll say you stole it! You’ll get arrested!”

  “No way!” said Judy.

  Judy threw herself on the Goa Constrictor, grabbed its top jaw, and pulled.

  Andrew flopped down in front of the Goa, got a grip on its bottom jaw, and looked inside.

  “See anything?” asked Judy.

  “Not yet,” said Andrew. He snapped his mini-flashlight off his belt loop and clicked it on. “Can you pull the mouth open a little wider?”

  “Uuugh!” groaned Judy, pulling harder. “I can’t hold this jaw open much longer.”

  Andrew pushed his head and then his shoulders into the Goa’s mouth.

  “Ooof!” exclaimed Judy as the top jaw snapped out of her grip. It clomped down on Andrew.

  Ssssssssssss …

  The bottom jaw was moving in and out. It was pulling Andrew inside like a conveyor belt!

  “Uh-oh,” said Andrew. He was inside the Goa up to his chest!

  Andrew could hear Jeremy laughing.

  “Germy Booger, this is all your fault,” said Judy. “Get over here and grab one of Andrew’s legs.”

  “Boohoo!” hooted Jeremy, walking out the door. “Dandy Andy is your problem. I’m going to tell Principal Smuggins. You guys are in big trouble.”

  Andrew felt Judy’s hands gripping his ankles and yanking.

  “AAAAAAAACK!” screamed Judy.

  SSSSSSSSSSSS …

  The horrible hiss was the last sound Andrew heard before his head felt like it was filled with helium and everything went black.

  WHAT’S STINKIER THAN A WHALE’S INTESTINES?

  Andrew was trapped in a dream.

  He was in a courtroom. A jury had found him guilty of inventing the Aroma-Rama. The Aroma-Rama was supposed to make homes and stores and offices smell like a garden. Instead, it made every place smell like stinky feet.

  Andrew’s punishment was to clean out refrigerators for the rest of his life.

  A guard brought him to a room filled with junky old refrigerators.

  Andrew was cleaning the first one. He had just twisted the lid off a jar of black goo that smelled like sour milk, gasoline, and dog poop when …

  Klunketa … klunketa … klunketa …

  A loud clunking sound woke him up.

  Andrew felt damp all over. He rubbed his eyes. The light was bright. He was leaning against a tall wall with brown and yellow tiles. And he was sitting on a pile of garbage!

  The room looked familiar, but something was wrong. The ceiling looked awfully far away.

  “Uh
-oh,” said Andrew. “The Goa shrunk us, pooped us out, and now we’re sitting on the tiny garbage I shrunk before! I must be about as big as a cockroach.”

  meep … “Small cockroach,” said Thudd.

  Ga-nufff … ga-nufff … gnewww …

  Andrew turned toward the sound. It was coming from a pile of dark, frizzy hair nearby. The pile was snoring!

  “Judy!” said Andrew to the pile of hair. Judy was asleep and buried up to her neck in garbage.

  Klunketa … klunketa … klunketa …

  The clunking sound was closer. Andrew pushed runny cheese and soggy crackers away from Judy’s shoulders and tried to shake her awake.

  Ga-nufff … ga-nufff … gnewww …

  She shook her head but stayed sound asleep.

  Klunketa … klunketa … klunketa …

  “Whoa!” came a deep voice from the doorway. “Hey, Frank! Get a look at the fake snake! Must be for Show-and-Tell Day.”

  “No way, Jeff,” said Frank. “It’s for Take Your Fake Snake to Work Day.”

  The men laughed.

  “Hey,” said Frank. “Where’s that garbage we’re supposed to pick up?”

  “Must be that bag next to the fake snake,” said Jeff. “I’ll get it.”

  Andrew watched the dark, heavy shoes get closer.

  “I’m not even as high as the sole of his shoe,” said Andrew. “He could stomp me like a bug.”

  “Well, look here,” said Jeff. “The fake snake made fake poop! Hand me a broom and a dustpan, Frank. Thanks. I’ll toss this stuff into the garbage bag.”

  Andrew looked up at Jeff’s face. It was like looking at the carvings of the presidents on Mount Rushmore.

  “HELP!” Andrew shouted. “GET US OUT OF THE GARBAGE!”

  The dark, dirty dustpan clunked against the floor.

  A wall of yellow bristles swept toward Andrew like a tsunami. Andrew covered his face with his hands and crouched in the garbage. A wave of stinky wetness crashed over him as the pile of tiny garbage was shoved into the dustpan.