On the Dog Read online

  Hiya! My name Thudd. Best robot friend of Drewd. Thudd know lots of stuff. How bug walk up wall. Why bubble break. How spider make web!

  Drewd like to invent stuff. Thudd help! But sometime Thudd and Drewd make mistake. Invention plus mistake make adventure! Thudd and Drewd go on adventure now. Want to come? Turn page, please!

  To Dan and Zack and Dad

  and the real Andrew, with love.

  —J.C.G.

  For Sid, the cat who acted like a dog.

  —D.P.

  CONTENTS

  Andrew’s World

  1. The Atom Sucker

  2. A Little Mistake

  3. Nosing Around

  4. A Sticky Situation

  5. Ups and Downs

  6. A Plan?

  7. Mite-y Big Problems

  8. Time to Flea

  9. A Hairy Situation

  10. Bathtub of Doom

  More True Stuff

  Even More True Stuff

  ANDREW’S WORLD

  Andrew Dubble

  Andrew has been inventing things since he was four. His first invention was the Whoops Eraser. It was supposed to get rid of stains. But it also got rid of the things that had the stains. The Picker Upper picked up spills. But then it leaked them out again.

  Andrew is ten now. Today he’s trying out his newest invention, the Atom Sucker.

  Judy Dubble

  Judy is Andrew’s thirteen-year-old cousin. Judy has been on four safaris to Africa. She’s got a helicopter in her backyard. She even knows how to fly it!

  The Atom Sucker

  Is it possible to shrink something by sucking the space out of its atoms? Andrew thinks the answer is yes and his Atom Sucker can do it. But he’s been wrong before.

  Uncle Al

  Uncle Al works at a top-secret laboratory. No one knows what he really does there. But Andrew and Judy know he’s very smart and gives good presents!

  Thudd

  The Handy Ultra-Digital Detective. On Andrew’s seventh birthday, Thudd turned up in Andrew’s mailbox. A card was hanging from one of Thudd’s antennas. It said: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDREW! TAKE GOOD CARE OF THUDD. HE CAN TELL YOU EVERYTHING. LOVE, UNCLE AL. P. S. NEVER WASH THUDD AND DON’T KEEP HIM IN THE DARK!

  Mrs. Scuttle

  Mrs. Scuttle is Judy’s next-door neighbor. There aren’t many things Mrs. Scuttle likes. She doesn’t even like her dog, Harley, very much.

  Harley

  Mrs. Scuttle may own this basset hound, but Judy throws him Frisbees and buys him chew toys. Judy and Harley are close friends. They are about to get much closer!

  THE ATOM SUCKER

  “Wowzers!” Andrew shouted. “This is the best thing I’ve ever invented!”

  Ten-year-old Andrew Dubble parked his new machine under a tree. The machine was as big as a doghouse. It looked like a porcupine. Skinny copper tubes poked out all over it. A fat iron pipe stuck out from the front.

  The machine squatted on four big springs. A thick electrical cord hung from the back like a tail.

  On the fat iron pipe, Andrew had painted the words THE ATOM SUCKER. In smaller letters he had written THE MOST POWERFUL SHRINKER IN THE UNIVERSE!

  Andrew dragged the plug to the back porch of an old white house. Andrew’s thirteen-year-old cousin Judy Dubble lived here with her parents. But nobody was home on this sunny summer day. Andrew had the field behind the house all to himself.

  Andrew plugged in the Atom Sucker. Then he walked back to the machine to set the controls.

  On the back of the Atom Sucker were a black power dial and a big red switch. The dial set the shrinking power from 0 to 100. Moving the dial past 0 turned the Atom Sucker on. The red switch could be pushed up or down. Up was marked SHRINK. Down was marked UN-SHRINK.

  Andrew pushed the big red switch up to SHRINK. Then he turned the power dial up to 5—low shrinking power.

  The Atom Sucker began to wobble. The skinny tubes began to twirl. Soon they were whistling like a hundred teakettles.

  “Super-duper pooper-scooper!” Andrew shouted. “What should I shrink first?”

  He looked around the fenced-in field. Judy’s parents kept equipment for their adventure-travel business here.

  At the far end of the field was an airplane with just four seats. A silver speedboat leaned against the fence. A helicopter was parked in front of the tree where the Atom Sucker sat.

  “The helicopter!” Andrew smiled. “Yes!”

  meep … “Drewd! Noop!” came a squeaky little voice from Andrew’s pants pocket.

  Andrew looked down. “What’s the matter, Thudd?” he asked.

  Sticking out of Andrew’s front pocket was a little silver robot. Andrew’s Uncle Al, a top-secret scientist, had invented him. The robot’s official name was The Handy Ultra-Digital Detective. But Andrew called him Thudd for short.

  Thudd’s face was a video screen. His ears were two antennas. On Thudd’s chest were three rows of buttons. All the buttons glowed green except for one. The big button in the center glowed purple.

  Thudd had three fingers on each hand. Thudd was using all his fingers to hang on to the top of Andrew’s pocket. Thudd’s rubbery little feet were like jelly beans with flat bottoms. They were kicking the keys in Andrew’s pocket.

  meep … “Copter too big!” said Thudd. “Atom Sucker choke maybe! Explode maybe! Small thing first, please!”

  Thudd made the keys jangle in Andrew’s pocket.

  “Okay, okay,” Andrew said. “Calm down. Let’s go see if there’s something good in the garbage.”

  Leaning against the porch were a garbage can and a lumpy black bag. It smelled stinky. Andrew lifted the lid of the garbage can. Inside were empty paint cans, sticky brushes, and an old radio. Andrew pulled the radio out.

  “How about this?” Andrew asked.

  meep … “Good! Good! Good!” said Thudd.

  Andrew fiddled with the radio as he walked back to the Atom Sucker.

  meep … “Drewd! Stay way from big pipe!” said Thudd.

  “Whoops!” said Andrew. “Thanks, Thudd.”

  The fat iron pipe at the front of the Atom Sucker was where the shrinking was supposed to happen. The pipe was snorting and wagging from side to side. It was looking for something to shrink!

  meep … “No shrink us, please!” Thudd squeaked.

  “Don’t worry,” said Andrew. “I’m not worried.”

  meep … “Worried!” said Thudd.

  Andrew crouched behind the Atom Sucker. He double-checked the controls.

  “Ready.”

  He raised the radio over his head.

  “Set.”

  He tossed it toward the front of the machine.

  “Go!”

  A cloud of orange smoke whooshed out of the twirling copper tubes.

  SHNOOOOORP! snorted the Atom Sucker.

  Andrew couldn’t see the radio through the orange smoke. He couldn’t see anything at all. But he could hear a scream.

  A LITTLE MISTAKE

  “Cheese Louise!” It was Andrew’s cousin Judy.

  meep … “Oody here!” Thudd squeaked. “Hiya, Oody!”

  “Ah … choof!” Judy sneezed. “What is all this stinky smoke?”

  “It’s just my science project,” Andrew said. He turned the Atom Sucker’s power dial down to 0. “You said I could come over and work on it.”

  “I said you could come over and use my printer!” Judy said. She stomped toward Andrew. Her long, frizzy hair bounced with every step. “I didn’t say you could explode stuff in my backyard!”

  Woof!

  Harley the basset hound trotted over to them. Harley belonged to Judy’s neighbor Mrs. Scuttle. But Harley followed Judy everywhere.

  “Nothing exploded … probably,” Andrew said.

/>   Judy bent down to scratch Harley behind one of his long brown ears.

  “Ah … ah … ah … choof!” Judy sneezed again. “This smoke is awful for my allergies, and so is Harley.”

  Harley snuffled in the grass, then trotted away.

  “Listen, Andrew,” said Judy. “Mom and Dad are teaching a skydiving class today. If I let you wreck things while they’re gone, they’ll never let me help with the tour to Hawaii. I’m supposed to teach people how to swim with dolphins!”

  “All I did was shrink a broken radio,” Andrew said. “At least I think I shrunk it.”

  Judy folded her arms across her chest. Judy was only an inch taller than Andrew. But sometimes she seemed a lot taller.

  “Mrs. Carmody assigned us a science report on ants,” Andrew explained. “I figured if I could get inside an anthill, I could really understand them. So Thudd helped me build the Atom Sucker. It can shrink us down to any size.”

  “Oh, please, Andrew!” said Judy. “Not another crazy invention!”

  “But this one is amazing!” said Andrew.

  “Yeah, right,” said Judy. “That’s what you said about the Aroma-Rama. Our house smelled like stinky feet for weeks!”

  Judy walked over to the Atom Sucker. The smoke was clearing away.

  “So how does this stupid thing work?” she asked.

  “Well,” said Andrew, “atoms are almost all empty space. The Atom Sucker sucks the empty space out of atoms. When your atoms shrink, you shrink!”

  Woof!

  Harley ran over to Judy. He had a Frisbee in his mouth. Judy patted Harley and tossed the Frisbee toward the far end of the field. Harley bounded after it.

  “Help me find the radio,” said Andrew. “It should be somewhere in front of the big pipe.”

  meep … “Stay way from big pipe!” warned Thudd.

  “It’s okay Thudd,” Andrew said. “I turned the power off.”

  Andrew got down on his hands and knees and started looking around in the grass. Judy did, too.

  meep … “There, Drewd!” Thudd said. He pointed toward a tree root.

  Andrew picked up the radio. It was the size of a matchbook.

  “Yes!” he shouted.

  “Let me see that,” said Judy. She took the little radio from Andrew’s hand.

  “Wow! It’s perfect!” she said. “But how are you going to get it un-shrunk?”

  “I’ll just set the Atom Sucker to UN-SHRINK,” said Andrew. “It’ll blow the radio right back up again.”

  Judy frowned. “I’m allergic to sentences with the words ‘blow up’ in them.”

  “Just watch this,” said Andrew.

  He hurried to the Atom Sucker’s controls and turned the power dial up to 5.

  The skinny copper tubes twirled and whistled. The fat iron pipe started wagging.

  Andrew was about to push the red switch to UN-SHRINK when Thudd screamed.

  “Oody!”

  Andrew looked up. Judy was near the front of the Atom Sucker. She was in the middle of a sneeze.

  “Ah … ah … choof!”

  Andrew jumped. His hand hit the power dial. It spun all the way up to 100!

  The Atom Sucker started hopping like a crazed kangaroo.

  Judy looked up. Her eyes were as round as golf balls.

  SHLOOOOORP! the Atom Sucker bellowed.

  There was a cloud of orange smoke where Judy used to be.

  “Noop! Noop! Noop!” squeaked Thudd.

  The Atom Sucker hopped toward the helicopter.

  SKLUUUUURP!

  The helicopter was gone!

  “Oh, no!” Andrew cried.

  He tried to pull the plug. He jerked on the cord. The Atom Sucker spun toward him!

  Out of the corner of his eye, Andrew saw Harley running across the yard.

  “Go back, Harley!” Andrew yelled.

  Suddenly Andrew felt as if he were being tickled by monkeys and squashed into a suitcase.

  The last thing he heard was a booming SHLOOOOORP!

  NOSING AROUND

  “Yowzers!” Andrew yelled.

  It was dark. A cool wind was blowing. In the wind were little chunks of stuff. They smacked into Andrew as they flew by.

  Where am I? Andrew thought.

  Ahead of him Andrew could see a faraway dot of light. Behind him was an even darker darkness.

  Andrew’s head felt weird and heavy. I know what this feeling is! Andrew thought. I’m hanging upside down, like a bat in a cave!

  Andrew tried to move his feet, but they were stuck in goo. The wind was so strong it was sucking him through the goo, back into the darker darkness!

  Andrew reached out for something to hold on to. Strange sticky ropes were hanging down all around him. He grabbed one.

  “Judy!” Andrew yelled.

  meep … “Dark, dark, dark, Drewd!” said Thudd. “Fraid of dark!”

  Andrew pulled Thudd out of his pocket. It was good to see Thudd’s bright screen, even though there was a frown on it.

  The wind slowed down. A moment later, it whipped up again. But this time the wind was hot and damp, and going the other way. It pushed Andrew toward the dot of light.

  “Can you tell where we are, Thudd?” asked Andrew, holding on tight to a rope.

  Thudd’s buttons were blinking yellow. Thudd was upset!

  meep … “Harley!” Thudd announced.

  “You mean we’re on the dog?” asked Andrew.

  meep … “In Harley,” said Thudd. “In Harley’s nose!”

  “Holy moly!” said Andrew. “We must be really small!”

  meep … “I show you,” said Thudd.

  Thudd’s face disappeared from his screen. In its place appeared a picture of Andrew. The picture began to shrink. First it shrank to the size of a pencil eraser, then to a dot, then to nothing.

  Andrew felt a little dizzy. Partly it was from being upside down. But mostly it was from thinking about how small he was.

  Andrew slipped Thudd back into his front pants pocket.

  “Grab the cord that holds my keys, Thudd,” said Andrew. “Wrap it around yourself so you won’t fall out.”

  meep … “Okey-dokey,” said Thudd.

  Then Andrew reached for his mini-flashlight. He always attached it to his belt loop. Andrew unhooked the flashlight and turned it on.

  The flashlight’s bright yellow beam sliced through the darkness of the nose cave. It was a huge place!

  The roof of the nose was as wrinkled as a messy bedsheet. Zillions of gooey ropes hung down from the folds.

  The bottom of the nose was far below. It looked gooey down there, too.

  Suddenly the sides of the nose cave started moving in and out quickly. The dog-breath wind came in short little gusts.

  meep … “Harley smell something,” said Thudd. “Dog nose smell things million times better than human nose. Harley can find place where Drewd walked four days ago. Can find Drewd buried under snow. Can tell if Drewd happy or sad by how Drewd smell.”

  “I know Uncle Al programmed you to tell me everything you know about everything,” said Andrew. “But right now we’ve got to concentrate on finding Judy.”

  Just then, Harley gave a big, gusty sniff.

  A STICKY SITUATION

  “Ick!” came a voice in the darkness.

  “Judy!” Andrew shouted.

  “Andrew!” Judy shouted back.

  Andrew turned off his flashlight and snapped it back on to his belt loop. He grabbed the sticky ropes with both hands and started pulling himself through the goo toward Judy’s voice.

  “Ouch!” Judy yelled.

  “Oof!” Andrew hollered.

  Judy and Andrew had clunked heads.

  “Andrew!” Judy gasped. “First I land on a gigantic blade of grass. Then Harley’s nose hovers over me like a humongous spaceship! Next he’s sniffing me up! Now because of you and your stupid Atom Sucker, I’m soaked in nose goo!”

  meep … “Nose goo called mucus,” said Thudd. “Gooe
y mucus good! If nose not gooey, nose not smell. Tiny pieces come off everything that have smell.”

  Thudd pointed to a picture on his face screen.

  “Tiny pieces stick to gooey nose cells,” Thudd said. “Look!”

  Thudd pointed to a new picture on his face screen.

  “Nose cells send message to dog brain. ‘Dead squirrel. Yummy! New dog. Nasty! Oody. Friend!’ Harley find Oody cuz he got lotsa gooey nose cells!”

  Judy frowned. “If I hear one more word about nose goo, I’ll take out your batteries, Thudd!”

  Just then, a huge gust of dog-breath wind whipped toward the back of the nose cave. When it stopped, everything got quiet.

  “What’s going on?” Judy asked.

  The walls of the nose cave began to quiver.

  “Uh-oh,” said Andrew.

  There was an explosion. Andrew and Judy were blasting through the air!

  UPS AND DOWNS

  “Yeow!” Andrew screamed.

  He crashed into something rubbery.

  “Yoof!”

  Andrew squinted. It was very bright. The light hurt his eyes after the darkness of the nose.

  “Thudd, what happened?” he asked.

  meep … “Harley sneeze!” said Thudd. “Sneeze can go one hundred miles an hour— fast as tornado!”

  Andrew’s eyes started to get used to the light. It looked as if they were at the mouth of an enormous cave. They were stuck to the very top of it.

  Suddenly Andrew knew where they were.

  “We’re at the end of Harley’s nose,” said Andrew, “at the top of Harley’s nostril!”

  meep … “Drewd! Look!” Thudd said. “Oody’s fingers!”

  “Where?” asked Andrew.

  meep … “Down!” said Thudd.

  Way below, Judy was dangling by her fingertips from the bottom edge of Harley’s nostril.